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Reasoning with an impatient mate

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Callista, "warriorprincess"
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Are any of you facing this problem as well? My fiance and I have the money to buy many houses in our area, and he is salivating at some of the listings right now. I thought that as it became clear that a major correction was underway that he would agree that we should wait it out. Instead, I might have to knock him unconscuos to keep him from biting....and to think he's the one with the busniess degree!!! This is turning into a source of friction..

I'm so frustrated right now.

October 02 2007 - US

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Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"
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Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"

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haha, I don't know what to do. I am the opposite of your situation. Take him for walks.

October 02 2007

Aratinga
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Callista, I can so relate! Same here... we're shopping together, and he's ready and willing to buy now and damn the torpedos... and I'm the one holding back because I KNOW we'll overpay if we buy now. He's never owned a home before, but I have -- and I was one who was bitten badly by the last downturn (bought in '89 and owed much more than house was worth by '96).

He really doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that buying now may cost us over a hundred grand more in just purchase price, not to mention interest, than if we wait six months or more. He's found the house that meets his needs, and you know how men are... Instant Gratification! :)

He's beginning to realize there's method to my madness, but he's always making remarks like, "It sure would be nice if we had horse property so you could have your horse here!", or "If we had a bigger garage you wouldn't have to park on the street!". Yeah, honey, I know....

October 02 2007

klarek the realist
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Callista, I know somebody that went through this recently. He wanted to buy, she wanted to wait. This went on for a while, caused some fights, and eventually she gave in. They put a sizable life savings into a down payment on an overpriced home. Long story short, they're apart now, neither can afford the home on their own, but they'll probably walk away with nothing if they sell (and they do intend to sell). I'd wait it out, and don't trust any realtor that tells you otherwise. You'll know when prices start bottoming out, and it will follow a substantial decrease in inventory.

http://housing-watch.com/home.aspx
http://www.housingtracker.net

For instance, my area:
http://www.housingtracker.net/old_housingtracker/location/DC/Washington/

Inventory lows are in the 5000s. Then *pop* goes the bubble:

02/01/2007 8,130
03/01/2007 8,193
04/01/2007 9,222
05/01/2007 10,456
06/01/2007 11,589
07/01/2007 12,108
08/01/2007 11,839
09/01/2007 12,453
10/01/2007 12,897

There are so few eligible buyers out there that the longer these people are listed on the market, the more they'll lower their prices. Then the ball is set low for the next guy, and so on. Foreclosures will always price below the competition, because they can. Considering the bulk of ARM resets are occurring this winter/spring, I'd say the worst has yet to come. Just my opinion.

October 02 2007

Callista, "warriorprincess"
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Do you get these comments too....

"I'm tired of renting!" (like I enjoy it or something)
"I don't care if we buy at the absolute bottom"! (me either, but can we buy a little closer to it please?)
"That house (one that we looked at and liked) won't come down that much because someone else will buy it"!!! (maybe so but there will be others for sale at much lower prices)

Oh Aratinga,.. how you sound like me today..it's as if 50-100,000 dollars doesn't matter to him.... Thankfully they can't buy without us can they? I just hate that we argue so much.

October 02 2007

Callista, "warriorprincess"
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Thanks for the advice all..it really does help...

I have dug in my heels..and I have been winning this battle so far..but I can feel myself slipping. It's the look he's giving me, like I'm breaking his heart... I'm thinking of offering a concession, like promising I won't push us back anymore past April. What do you think, things will probably have fallen a lot by then right?

October 02 2007

klarek the realist
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Wow, there seems to be a clear division between the women and men in this situation. I didn't think anything of it when my friend went through this problem, but is there a chance that men are really stupid when it comes to BIG purchases? I mean, girls go shopping and my stepmom has about 200 purses, but every person I know that foolishly bought an overpriced home was a guy.

October 02 2007

Lshashab
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LOL!!

October 02 2007

Lshashab
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We are opposite. My Husband would just as soon wait it out but I am so afraid that Interest rates will skyrocket and then we won't be able to buy even if prices have plummeted.
This is a nerve wracking time for informed buyers too.

October 02 2007

Callista, "warriorprincess"
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Klarek....that's because us gals hate to buy an expensive pair of shoes(house) at full price, and then see it go on clearance (10,000$ less) a week later!

October 02 2007

Aratinga
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Exactly! I used a Nordstrom's outfit analogy a while back in another thread... I'd be really upset if I'd spent money on a great outfit and then saw the very same outfit go on sale for 30% off a couple weeks later.

The huge difference is, Nordstrom's will refund you the difference if you ask nicely! Try getting a bank or seller to refund you that money.... Good luck.

And Ishashab, don't let the interest rate fear get to you. Remember, prices will go down, and if rates go up prices will be depressed even further! Even if you have to buy initially at a high rate of interest, as long as you bought at a low price you can refinance your mortgage later when rates go back down. But you buy at a high price, you're stuck with that huge balance for 30 years. No renegotiation on the principal.

October 02 2007

Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"
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Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"

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The only ones who bought at a high price did it in 2005. Buyers now are not making a mistake. Can you make a deal in today's market? Yes. Are there still overpriced homes out there? Yes. Don't buy those one's

October 02 2007

chuckdog24
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Oh Callista, I can relate.. sigh...
My wife & I have been doing the "next spring" thing since 2003.
In 2004 we had to scrap our custom built home plans. Our contractor raised the price $100k after we got vested in the project. We painfully made the right move & walked away from that.
This spring we saw prices dip a bit & had a contact to buy a home which fell through when it wouldn't appraise & the sellers "demanded" $5k over the highest appraisal.
I was dejected & bitter about the market & wanted to step away from it for the summer. My wife however was insistent that we "stay in the market & not give up". We began arguing with each other as well as debating the merits of each viewpoint with friends & family. The issue escalated to the point where we went to a relationship counselor to mediate the issue. He gave us some "tools" to address what became a struggle between business logic vs. emotional reasoning. Perhaps the biggest help from the counselor was understanding that additional logical answers can serve to infuriate someone who wants to buy for primarily emotional reasons.
A small & very simple book, Spencer Johnson's "The Present" wound up being the biggest help for us to find common ground. The book has dozens of great lines but the overall premise is to focus on "What's Right Now" (both to focus on positive things as well as not getting obsessed by worrying about past or future events).
We recently moved our down payment $ into 6 month CD?s to wait for some of the smoke to clear before getting involved with the market again. Ironically, my wife is OK with the issue for now & I?m the one that?s been on these boards?I guess my emotional chip hasn't been removed quite yet ; )

October 02 2007

Callista, "warriorprincess"
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Callista, "warriorprincess"

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Relationship couseling...Geeze I hope it doesn't go that far...it's good to see that you guys worked through it Chuckdog

October 02 2007

2 Big 2 Fail
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"But you buy at a high price, you're stuck with that huge balance for 30 years."

Not really. Nobody keeps their house for 30 years. The average length of ownership is 6-7 years so you might not actually be saving that much if prices go down and rates go up.

October 02 2007

Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"
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Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"

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Flip side,

A major developer in the area wrote an offer on a vacant land listing I had. The owners paid $150K for the acreage just over a year b4. The Developer offered $850K. Husband said, take the money and run. Wife said counter at full purchase price. They countered at full purchase price. Long story short they didn't sell to the developer.

I sold the following year for $350K.

October 02 2007

ghennis00
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I don't think she wants your help alpine, I know alot of ppl who have owned their homes that long.

October 02 2007

Aratinga
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I'm planning to stay in the next house we buy until I die. I hate moving!

October 02 2007

Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"
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Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"

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Oooooops

October 02 2007

ghennis00
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Callista,

I am in similar shoes, but we are going to buy if I can find a fair deal.

October 02 2007

chuckdog24
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Callista, thanks. Our relationship is stronger than ever, just celebrated our 3rd anniversary. One quirky thing that we did to focus on the positive was to post our house savings fund progress on the inside of the medicine cabinet door.

October 02 2007

Callista, "warriorprincess"
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I'm with you Aratinga...after I buy I'm not leaving till they carry me out in a bag!

Ghennis...looking for a fair deal these days in California feels like looking for a rare orchid somewhere in the Amazon....snakes and all!

October 02 2007

2 Big 2 Fail
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I do not plan on keeping the house I buy for more than 10 years. I am buying in an area where there is lots of new homes and when the town gets built out, a builder will eventually offer me a large sum of money, and I will take it and run.

October 02 2007

Callista, "warriorprincess"
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Callista, "warriorprincess"

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Hey klarek....that's a great internet site....thanks!

October 02 2007

Mike2020
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Just have them read the comments on www.housingpanic.com and try to refute each argument..

They'll realize that they are very wrong and now is the WORST time to buy

October 02 2007

Lshashab
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I NEED a home I'll love for 30 years because

1: I hate moving
2: My husband hates moving even more than I do.:)

October 02 2007

pinksandbaby
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If you go back to Nordy's when your dress is 30% off, you run the risk of them not having your size (the house you like).

It's a tough call.... (said the "dope")

October 02 2007

Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"
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Jarrod Chambers, "Gallo de fuego"

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I'm gonna move every two years till I'm 45. Then I should have a dream house. or I'll move to Mexico. haha

October 02 2007

ghennis00
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Callista - california, ouch. I wish you luck. Speaking for myself, I want a house that while I may not live in it for the next 30-40yrs it has to be a house I'll be pleased with for the next 30-40 yrs because that is how long I'd keep it. I can see the obverse side of the coin where ppl just like to flip and run, but thats just not me, I like to live and be around ppl who take life in at a slower pace.

October 02 2007

2 Big 2 Fail
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Who is "Dopes"? I post on HP under the name "Homeowner" If you click on my "homeowner" profile, you will see that I have my own NJ real estate blog.

October 02 2007

2 Big 2 Fail
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You all say you will keep your houses until you die, but that will not happen. I said the same thing when I bought my house.

October 02 2007

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