Profile picture for workingwoman7

Should I purchase a house for my mother under my name at 25?

My mom is stressed with all the bills and mortgage of the house we've lived in for about 7 years. There is foundation problems and we've just had a situation with a slab leak that the insurance company is claiming they do not cover. My mom wants to "walk away" from this home and have me purchase a house under my name. I'm 25 and planning on moving. I'm not engaged, but have a long time boyfriend that I can see myself marrying soon. I don't want to be selfish in a sense of not helping my mother, but I want to do what's best for me and my future as well as her. I'm stuck and don't know what to do or how to deal. Please help me with suggestions.
  • October 04 2011 - Dallas
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Answers (17)

Profile picture for sunnyview
Terrible answer. Did you even read the question? If so, you're going to have to tell me how taking to a Realtor makes it ok for a 25 year old to be bullied into buying a house for a parent who is defaulting on their own mortgage as we speak. I'm interested so I can't wait to hear the answer.

Sometimes not buying is better. This is one of those times and situations.
  • November 13 2011
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Profile picture for patohomes
I would have a Realtor check out the current home to see what options there are.
  • November 12 2011
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Profile picture for wetdawgs
Elena - oh my!  I'm flabbergasted at your response.  Either you aren't responding to the question, or are brainwashed by the "fantastic time to buy" campaigns of your profession.

Did you buy a home for your mother when you were 25 and hadn't yet moved out?

The good thing you've done?  Your potential future clients will have a chance to evaluate your input and response to questions so they aren't blindsided.
  • October 06 2011
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Profile picture for sunnyview
I hate to be a pill, but that is terrible advice Elena. Are you seriously suggesting that it is a good idea for this 25 years old to buy a house in her name for her mother?  

Maybe you need to reread the post instead of regurgitating, "It is certainly a fantastic time to purchase a place". I am angered that you would say that to anyone in this situation.
  • October 06 2011
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You should probably speak with a real estate attorney and or accountant regarding the benefits and or risks you are taking when doing so.  It is certainly a fantastic time to purchase a place and there are tax benefits to home ownership as well as being able to improve your credit.  It's also true that in most markets, it is less expensive to buy than rent with a minimal down payment. Good luck
  • October 06 2011
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Profile picture for blue screen exile
If a few bills and typical maintenance are stressing your mom out, how is it going to be "better" if all those bills and maintenance issues are passed on to you?  Will she stop worrying if you are the one that is financially responsible, and you are not living there, and you are not doing the repairs, and the house you buy may still go into foreclosure?

For those that can't handle maintenance, repairs and capital improvements, sometimes renting is the better choice.  Especially in the present housing market.

If you could afford the house now, you don't even need to buy it; there is nothing stopping you from paying her bills if that is what you "choose" to do.  And if your mom only wants you on the title, she can quick deed it to you without even changing her mortgage nor affecting your credit.

To me, it doesn't even sound like it is about the house or about the bills... it sounds like it is about the "boyfriend"; and her "fear" that you may abandon her.

If that is the case, you need to deal with the real issues and not get sidetracked by unnecessary economic diversions.
  • October 06 2011
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Profile picture for sunnyview
I agree that the boundaries book suggested by Karen by Cloud is good and this book by Wills-Brandon is also excellent Please take good care of yourself. You are young and you will have a happier life if you make the choice to learn to say no to the wrong things and listen to that voice inside you.
  • October 06 2011
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You have received some excellent advice from the other "pros". Please take it. I have seen similar situations and they did not end well. It would be better for you both for your mother to sell the house under a short sale or even walk away from it. She will be able to re-establish her credit and buy another house in 3 years time. To purchase a home under these circumstances would not be a blessing for either one of you. Meanwhile, look for an inexpensive apartment and make steps to move out on your own. It sounds like you have been living with your mother to help out with her bills. At 25 it's time to establish your own independence. An excellent book for you to read would be "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud. A healthy family has healthy boundaries. Right now it doesn't appear that yours does. For the sake of your future family, establishing healthy boundaries now will help you. If you bail out Mom now, you may be bailing her out for the rest of your adult life. Money and in-law problems are the two biggest reasons for divorce. Don't sacrifice your future happiness.
  • October 06 2011
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The posts I've read from the other agents are spot on.  What a great group of pros giving exactly the right advice.  I concur - you should NOT do this.  I work with a group of investors that might be interested in purchasing her home - if she would like to get in touch you can access my contact info by clicking on my name above.  Again - buying a house for your mother in your name is a LOSING proposition - do not do this for all of the reasons the group has given you plus a few more.  It sounds like your mother needs to sell HER house and then rent a place to live for a while.

  • October 05 2011
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Profile picture for sunnyview
If your mom can sell the house to an investor, private party or company outright, then she could buy again as soon as she had a down payment and her credit allowed it.

This is not your problem. Do not let anyone make it your problem. If you have siblings, be offended and indignant if anyone suggests you are being selfish not going down with the sinking ship. It is not true. In a couple years they will forget about it. If you sign on the dotted line you won't ever be able to move on until the house is paid off.

Please tell them no. Act like you are 25. This is not your responsibility.
  • October 04 2011
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Profile picture for sunnyview
If you can't fake the credit, then you need to tell them no and listen to that voice inside you. It's there to protect you. You cannot start your life carrying your mother's finances. This is not your job. If you ruin your credit to help her, you will not be able to take care of your family when the time comes.

Here is some foreclosure information for Texas. If your mom stops paying, it will take the bank time to get her out. How long varies from state to state and depends on the backlog of foreclosures in the area. If your mom is planning to walk away, she needs to get legal advice.

It looks like Texas has deficiency judgements so the bank could get a judgement for the difference between the amount owned and the amount they finally sell the house for. She can negotiate with the bank not to get a judgement and to simply sign over or short sale the house. If she did that, she might be able to buy again within 2-3 years.

If your mom has any equity, she may be able to short sale for less than is owed on the house. You need to find out how much the house is worth to see if that is an option and your mother must have a qualifying hardship for the bank to agree.
  • October 04 2011
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Profile picture for wetdawgs
Your siblings will think you selfish if you don't help her out?   Where are they? why are they helping her out if that is their opinion. 

"we buy ugly houses" will give her at best 50% of what it is worth.  It doesn't take away her mortgage obligations.

She may consider trying a short sale (we don't know what she owes vs the value of the house) or selling it traditional method. 
  • October 04 2011
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Profile picture for the_country_hick
If you buy a house for her you can almost guarantee (99+%) that you will be unable to buy one for yourself. You only will be eligible for x amount of credit. Once that is used for her house it will not be available for yours.

Do not do this. She has her credit you have yours. She has a house now she has to deal with it and the problems it has.

Being selfish is asking someone else to bail you out of a situation you caused yourself. Your mother is being selfish asking you to take a huge risk like this.

We buy ugly houses *might* offer you 50% of the value of the house. That makes no sense to do. It is better to put the house for sale as-is with a realtor and hope to sell it cheap. You should come out ahead compared to selling it for half what it is worth.
  • October 04 2011
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Profile picture for workingwoman7
My mom and Uncle have someone ready to run my credit. I wish my mom understood where I was coming from, but she doesn't. I know I don't want to do it, but I guess I'm afraid that my siblings will look at me as being "selfish" and not helping her out. Night and day, I've been researching on how I can help her. Any suggestions... if she walks, what happens? If she sells to some company like "We buy ugly houses," what's the benefit?
  • October 04 2011
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 I know you want to help your mom and you should, but you don't want to blow your future home ownership with your own family in the process. Unless you see your mother living with you and your future husband I would consider other options.
  • October 04 2011
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Profile picture for sunnyview
Please do not tie yourself to this house for your mother. I am begging you. These situations never turn out well for the responsible ones in the family. You have to let your mother find another way, but please do not mortgage your future and prop up a bad situation. They always come crumbing down and you will be the one under the pile of family rubble.

You can tell your mother that say that you ran your credit and can't qualify because you have some crazy judgements that do not belong to you on your credit. Then say no more. Please do not walk into this.
  • October 04 2011
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Profile picture for wetdawgs
No, at 25 one is just starting to establish oneself financially.  Buying a house with your name and income and this stage would not be wise.  it wouldn't be her house, it would be your house where you let your mother stay (rent?).

  • October 04 2011
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