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There are typically regional standard expectations that the buyer and seller have certain closing costs each is expecting to pay and that defines the starting point for negotiation.
As mentioned, the lender may assist in paying for the costs and the benefit is it helps to define the amount of cash out of your pocket, versus the rate you pay. Who pays between the buyer and sell after regional standard, while negotiable, will also depend on the interest level of buyers in the home you're pursuing.
If you ask the seller to pay, not only may it increase your price to make up for the costs (as mentioned) because the seller is looking at their net, but also, if you're up against other offers there are two major draw backs to asking for the seller to pay for closing costs:
1. You will have a tough time getting it to appraise because you have to add dollars to the "actual" value.
2. Your offer will look weaker in the eyes of the seller, so it decreases your chance of acceptance.
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For Sale: $145,000
For Sale: $249,000
For Sale: $199,000