The Pros & Cons of Living on a Fairway

It seems so idyllic…looking past your backyard onto an expanse of beautifully-tended lawn that you didn’t mow. Perhaps the view even includes a little lake (water hazard). Or if you’re a golfer, you live there because after work, you can wander onto the course to play a few holes before darkness sets in. But buyers beware… there are some downsides to living on the links. A friend of mine lives on a course deep in the heart of Texas and on a recent visit, I saw it for myself.

Problem #1: Cursing. Those of you with young’un’s, there are probably certain words you were hoping your kids didn’t hear until at least junior high. Well, get ready for your kids to ask, “What does !@#$%^& mean?” After errant shots, some golfers aren’t as restrained as golf course etiquette might require. Be prepared for random streams of expletives that can drift over the back fence and into the ears of innocents.

Problem #2: Slices & Hooks. If you’re thinking about buying a home on the range, pay attention to where the nearest tee is. The windows of some homes are perfectly positioned exactly where a really bad slice or hook would go. My friend is on the slice zone from the 7th tee. Four of her windows have been broken by bad drives, with one ball hit so hard it went through both panes. Several other drives landed in the swimming pool (thankfully, the kids weren’t in it). While it is the golfer’s responsibility to fess up and pay for the broken windows, they haven’t all chosen the path of honor. Some have just dropped another ball and pretended the first wasn’t theirs. One golfer even had the agility to leap her fence to retrieve his ball. When shown the broken window, he argued it must have been someone else’s shot. Unfortunately for him, his monogrammed initials on the golf ball gave him away. At least he, grudgingly, paid for the damage.

Many birds fly over my house, so you can imagine what hits my windows. I guess I should be grateful.