It really depends on your specific local market, the demand for your home, and the type of loan the buyers are using. Obviously, if you have multiple offers on your property you can pick and choose who you'd like to work with, however, if you only have one offer you are currently working with, it is in your best interest to reach a mutually beneficial situation where both you and the buyers you are working with have a win-win situation. Keep in mind that if the buyer is using an FHA loan with a 3.5% down payment, the chances are that they are scraping together what they have just to come up with the down payment, and in many cases may not have the ability to buy your home without your help. With that being said, the total net to you should make sense as well. If your list price is realistic and they are coming in much lower and asking for credits, maybe they need to bump up their offer price a bit so that it makes to you. You work with them and give them the credits for closing costs, and they work with you and get you a price that nets you a reasonable amount in your current local market. I tell all my sellers that right now, LESS is MORE! The reality is that if you don't make it work with this buyer, the chances are you will ultimately get less from someone else so try and make it work out. I am a firm believer in a win win situation for everyone involved. If it isn't a win-win, then the party that feels like they are losing WILL find a way to make it up in the end! You mentioned you are taking a loss on the home, and you are not alone, however the longer the home is listed, the larger the loss may be. Quick sales = Highest net.
You can require that all offers submitted on your home are accompanied with pre-approval from a direct lender. My professional opinion is that you find your own lender that you feel comfortable with. One who you may know or one that is referred to you is your best bet. In your web listing or when you speak with buyers, you simply mention that any offers submitted must cross qualify with your lender. This way you have someone on your side making sure that your best interest is taken care of. Any good lender would jump at the opportunity to pre-approve any buyer as it may turn out to be a great client for them. It is a win - win situation. It may be a buyers market, but you can still call some of the shots, especially when it comes to choosing the best buyer! If a buyer doesn't want to agree to cross qualifying with your lender, they are most likely not a strong buyer.