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Not Fannie or Freddie. How do I refinance?

My current mortgage isn't fannie or freddie. Is there any way that I can refinance? I have been diligent and have never missed a mortgage payment. But with the current economy I am upside down on my house. Refinancing would really help my budget and cut out some interest on my house. HELP!! I was once told by a banker that I would have to stop paying my mortgage and after so many months (six I think) I could "request" assistance. I'm not trying to beat the system here and my credit is excellent! Why would I want to go that route?