For rent: The House. The House will change your life, no joke. After you move in, you cook The House's very first meal. It goes so well that you host a little dinner party. That night, while you're dining alfresco on your perfectly landscaped patio, your friends can?t stop complimenting your great decor. Thanks to The House's fully upgraded fixtures and effortless floorplan, whatever you threw in there looks AMAZING. It blows your guests' socks off, literally. Which is just fine because they're totally comfortable barefoot on the velvety dark wood floors and carpets soft and fluffy as freshly baked bread. The evening goes splendidly, great food, plenty of wine, and the beautiful setting leads to fantastic conversation. You become everyone?s Favorite Friend. You guys quickly become THAT COUPLE. "How do they do it your friends will marvel. "They've got it so together! How do they make it look so easy And you will nod sagely to one another, because you will know how. It's magic of The House. After an easy cleanup thanks to your stainless-steel-top-of-the-line everything, you all head upstairs for the night. She sighs happily as she slips into a hot bath in the ridiculously romantic deep soaking tub, and you take the most satisfying poop of your life, sans smell complaints thanks to the SEPARATE TOILET ROOM! She's relaxed, you feel great after pooping in peace, so when you head to bed, stars and hearts start appearing in your eyes... Your partnership is deeper, your marriage more harmonious and passionate, than it's ever been. As the romance continues, you don't have to worry about whispering or tiptoeing because the kids are all the way down the hall, sneaking into each others' rooms through the adjoining jack & jill bathroom to share little secrets away from prying parental ears. Boom! Sibling bonds forged! Fond memories for life! You'll thank The House when they stick together through thick & thin FOREVER. There's so much storage you won't even remember what clutter is. Laundry practically does itself in your brand spankin' new washer & dryer. Sunlight and joy pour in through plenty of big windows and high ceilings. Not that it ever rains here, but if it does, your groceries won't get wet, because The House is attached to The Garage. The House literally brand new, you'll be the first people to smudge the fridge, spill on the carpet, scuff the walls, or do whatever other weird stuff people do at home. Are you ready to embrace the New You that The House brings out? Email me with a bit about you. The House works its magic on all ages, races, sexes, and orientations. Rainbows subject to weather; Unicorns not included
This property is off market, which means it's not currently listed for sale or rent on Zillow. This may be different from what's available on other websites or public sources.