SEEKING 1 FLATMATE for unfurnished room; includes 1 off street parking spot and all utilities WiFi, central air, laundry, etc How is a "flatmate" different that a "roommate"? Well we are not sharing bedrooms! You get your own private bedroom with a locking door, in addition to sharing the already-furnished common space in the penthouse! Who am I sharing the 3BR/2BTH penthouse with? I am a late 30's professional with a graduate degree, own the home, work a LOT, and have a new-to-me 3 y/o Great Dane "Homer". Further, I am seeking to fill *both* east bedrooms - one furnished and one unfurnished - with *CLEAN AND RESPONSIBLE* flatmates. "Hey Stephanie, what do you mean by 'clean and responsible' ? " Thanks for asking! Unfortunately over the past few years, more than a couple "adults" claimed they were "clean and responsible" as I have always required in my ads. This was demonstrably proven false - uh - very false. I really wish I did not need to explain this - but as Danny Glover said in Lethal Weapon, "I am getting too old for this $hit!". Sooooooo, I decided to use this (very) different approach to hopefully make you either face-palm and giggle or run away if you do these things. Ready for unfortunately-very-real examples of what I will not tolerate? I AM SEEKING FLATMATES WHO DO NOT: - Collect dirty dishes in their room like Ash collecting Pokemon; - Drink every bottle of my (literally-not-figuratively) irreplaceable/not-commercially-sold adult beverages that I personally carried back as mementos from numerous international trips; - Stay up all night loudly playing video games - routinely enough to lose their job - twice; - Steal my (former-)dog's pain medication; - Let their significant other "shadow move in" by staying 3-7 nights per week and do laundry here; - Use "pee bottles" instead of getting up to use the toilet; [Did you hit bingo yet?] - Routinely emit noises resembling bad Anime p0rn SO loud that it's clearly-heard completely-across the penthouse ...and at least twice by a downstairs neighbor; - Use weeks of old takeout containers to build Lego-like castles in their room; - Have such bad hygiene and laundry habits to necessitate that I throw away the sheets, blankets, pillows, mattress, and rug when they move out; as well as - Smoke *anything* [Psst - Hey stoners - yeah you bud - I am NOT 420 friendly because I have severe reactions to the smoke.] "WOW Steph! Also, yeah, your definition of being "clean and responsible" does NOT sound hard! I can do that! What are the details?" Thanks! I didn't think so either - sigh - but here we are. And your reward for actually reading the ad is that rent is only $1050 IF you put the word "Dumptruck" in your opening message to me! For everyone else skimming or just looking at photos, here are the key details: AVAILABLE March 15, but can be available ~1 week sooner/later 3 MONTH LEASE that "rolling" auto-renews with good behavior No pets; 1 person only; no smoking After TOURING, then complete and submit: [1] an APPLICATION (free), [2] BACKGROUND CHECK via Apply Connect (~$30 paid direct to site as per GR ordinance not allowing landlords to charge ap fees which few landlords follow), with [3] refundable 1 MONTH SECURITY DEPOSIT. Then, FIRST MONTH'S RENT is due with signed LEASE. POST WILL BE REMOVED ONCE RENTED
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