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How to Live with Roommates

If you're co-habiting with roommates, communication is key — and so is knowing when to pick your battles.

How to Live with Roommates
Meredith Arthur
Written by|March 17, 2025

When two or more people share a living space, there's bound to be some conflict. Dirty socks on the floor, empty milk jugs in the fridge, lights left on all night — the possibilities are endless. That co-worker you enjoy at work may be a different creature as a roommate. Knowing how to live with good and bad roommates is a critical skill. Here are some tips to help you live harmoniously with roommates:

Set great expectations

It's a good idea to establish rules that all roommates agree on. Try to cover every aspect of your daily routine, from kitchen cleanup to nighttime rituals. Things like:

  • What's your policy on guests, particularly overnight ones?
  • Who takes out the trash?
  • Is your dog welcome to snooze on her couch?
  • Who makes sure the landlord gets paid?
  • Who gets first dibs on the shower every morning?

Also consider the first few weeks of living together as a representation of what you want for the future. If you're not into big parties, don't agree to throw a huge housewarming bash.

Have meetings

Regular house meetings may sound silly, but they're actually a great way to establish rules and help maintain them. Determine guidelines for all shared spaces, such as the refrigerator, bathrooms, and living rooms, and allow for open communication on any issues. Any rules you decide on are fine, as long as you all agree to them up front. Although it sounds like overkill, getting these details in writing can save a lot of trouble for everyone later on. Better yet: Write them in an area that’s easy for all to view, like a chalkboard.

Communicate your issues, kindly

Issues are bound to arise. Keeping lines of communication open will help save many doors from slamming shut. If you have an issue (within reason), try to bring it up in a diplomatic way and always remember the golden rule: Treat your roommates the way you want to be treated. And remember that your way isn't the only one. Perhaps you roll your clean towels, while she folds hers. Some things are not worth the fight.

Learn to share

If this is one of your first forays into co-living with people other than family, you may be surprised that sharing doesn't come naturally to everyone. Maybe you are one of 10 children and are used to compromise; your roommate could be an only child, so binge-watching 'Scandal' for 10 hours straight on the communal TV may not seem like a big deal to her. Try to bring up the issue in a tactful way, and don't always assume it's deliberate. (It's also very likely that you aren't the perfect roommate 24/7 either.) Technology can complicate matters further.

If all else fails…

The stakes are high when things get sticky with roommates. If he or she is on the rental lease, there's surprisingly little you can do until your terms are up. You also may be liable for your roommates' obligations to the landlord, meaning if a roommate decides to bail, you would be responsible for their portion of the rent. (Another good reason to resolve conflicts.)

There are several legal scenarios regarding renters rights when cohabiting. Do your research to determine if you can draft a roommate agreement beforehand so everyone understands what's expected.

Also be aware that your rental lease agreement is typically a one-for-all deal. If your roommate is breaking a policy or law, the landlord can evict everyone on his or her lease. That means you could be out of a place to live if your co-tenant doesn't obey the rules.

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