A Zillow Christmas Poem

Twas the time to be festive, to head out the door,
nWhen we heard silver bells jingling at half past four.
nOut the window hovered a magnificent sleigh
nand a jolly fat man shooing seagulls away.

We could hear Santa’s voice through the pane, ‘cross the room.
nIt echoed through Zillow, a thun’drous warm boom.
n“While I don’t think you’re naughty, your website is heaven,
nmy Zestimate’s been crazy since 2007.

“Towards the end of that year my value was dropping
nIt went low then lower with no sign of stopping.
nThat went on for years. I was resigned to my plight.
nNow it’s rocketing up like Rudolph taking flight.”

Zillow sprung into action, prepared what to say,
nto set Santa at ease before Santa’s big day.
nThe truth of it is the market forces are clear.
nThe North Pole has been changing. Ask any reindeer.

The housing bubble spread north, as north as it goes.
nBy ’07 the bubble was fixed to explode.
n‘Video games’ was written on every wish list
nleaving elves who make toys unhappily dismissed.

Without workshop jobs, home payments lurched to a stop.
nMany foreclosures caused all home values to drop.
nThe economy languished; home shoppers were rare.
nIt took a long time for the market to repair.

With prices so low there grows great potential
nFor bold groups with funds to convert homes to rentals.
nOne of those groups turning home values about
nWas large foreign investors: the penguins down south.

Polar bear home flippers also increased demand
nAnd don’t forget the abominable snowman
nWho bought up all the houses on Kris Kringle Street
nAnd converted their use to an old elves' retreat.

The examples above: clear market corrections.
nThe tricky part is to make price projections.
nThe increasing prices will steadily slow
nBut don’t worry too much, they’ll continue to grow.

Santa nodded his head and stroked his thick beard,
nLooking relieved that all was not as he feared.
nWith a quick flick of the reins, his smile flashed bright,
n“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”n